Saturday, July 14, 2012

Past & Present

              Past~ I was enjoying my lifestyle that I can sense the sweetness people around me. It feels good and gave me hope that this world would have better changes. I can feel wolf and my beloved parents. Holding his hands, hugging him, kissing him and lied on his body makes me feel better when I'm intended to give up. Feeling these actually need to pay a very a high price for it and I'm wondering how much does he sacrificed for me already? Although I may not the truth answer even till the last day of my life but I'm sure that it won't be smaller than the sacrifices than other people or maybe it is nearly equal to my parents, I presume. Wolf may be a good secret keeper but that mean he can hide it forever especially not in front of me. Wolf may have poor past in his life but I can assure you that you're better than mine in comparison and if  you ever felt I'm better than you then I shall be your future to make you feel that my past is better.

Once imagined it to be good;past had too many disappointments.This taste of loneliness,Heaven and I know. Events too joyful need to change multiple times;realized the meaning of cherishing.Too many disappointments;try once again.The reluctance to part,should not degrade.
I've already missed events that I care the most about,unlimited times. Please let me say my heartfelt words, seriously to you. 


             Present~ Being alone again in my lifestyle. Although I din't regret of giving each other a cold war period but I'm still missing the good old days. Anyway, cold war must be done someday by someone too cause I know that I really pushes too hard till he is in trouble yet I din't let him relieve but increases his trouble for my own incapability. And yet his family especially closest to him sense that if he still don't break up with me,he'll be in great trouble that's why they kept asking breaking in this relationship so, if one of us need to make a decision let it be me for I know he wouldn't hurt me no matter what will be happening. Hope this won't change your love for me although I can't sense you any more,heart broken. Its been three days that we have lost connection even I've try hard enough to stay connect in but seems I've been failing to do so. I've text but I just had a simple reply that makes me feel cooler when I'm with wolf, I can't barely sense the heat that wolf should have given to everyone around him.